Kim Phan
It is truly by the grace of God that I am standing here before you today to share about God's sovereign work in my life. I was born into a non-Christian family. Baptized Catholic when I was young, it wasn't something that I knew anything about nor actively practiced. When I came into high school, my best friend invited me out to her church's winter retreat and it was the first time I had ever been exposed to Christianity. Though I had little interest in hearing the Word of God at the time, I kept going because I wanted to hang out with my friends. Yet even in my rebellion, God was graciously beginning to soften my heart. During my junior year retreat, I thought I had become a Christian because I prayed the prayer I was told to pray and had started going out to church regularly. However my life did not in any way reflect Christ. I was rebellious towards my parents and I sought my own glory rather than God's. I still considered myself to be a good person and prided myself in my reputation before others. I had no understanding of the gospel and my sinfulness before a holy God. My so-called relationship with God was all about what He could do for me rather than how I could live for Him.
However, all that began to change during the summer before I came to college. All this time, I had banked on my good works to save me but God revealed to me that I had been living in rebellion against my Creator who created me for the purpose of living for His glory yet I rejected Him and sought the love of the world instead. Because of this, God had every reason to condemn me and send me to hell yet by His grace, He sent His only Son down to earth to live in a perfect life and die for my sins suffering the punishment that I deserved. Jesus Christ, who was pure and blameless, took on the wrath of God in my place. Romans 5:7-8 states, "For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." I had done nothing to merit favor before God that He would chose me yet He loved me so much that He would sacrifice His Son so that I would not only be forgiven of my sins but have eternal life with Him. It was that summer that God gave me true understanding of the gospel and my need to repent and trust in Christ as my Lord and Savior.
As I came to college, I struggled with finding a church where I could have accountability and solid teaching. In God's sovereignty, He led me to Lighthouse Bible Church where I was able to gain a foundation for my faith. During my freshmen year, God used Lighthouse to show me the sufficiency of His Word -- that it was truly sufficient for all things pertaining to life and godliness. Since that time, I have been constantly sharpened by His Word as the Holy Spirit graciously opens my eyes to new things I still need to learn each and everyday. This past school year in particular I have been blessed by the College Life ministry here at Lighthouse as God has shown me the necessity of meditating on the gospel daily and the need to be a faithful ambassador of Christ. Going to Lighthouse these past three years, God has shown me that the gospel isn't just a ticket in the door and something you forget about later, but rather it must be central to your life yet I must admit that the idea of actively preaching the gospel to myself daily wasn't something that was a conviction upon my heart until this past year. God reminded me that I was a sinful creature, prone to wander, and because of that, I easily lose sight of the gospel. Therefore I needed to be reminded of it daily in order that I might be able to follow Christ and live for His glory. God used a message given by Pastor Patrick this past year to confirm this necessity as he spoke about how when we struggle with our disciplines such as prayer or reading God's Word, it is really because we lose sight of Christ and the gospel. I have seen this to be true in my own life and it further encouraged me to keep my eyes on the cross. Another lesson God has taught me through College Life was the need to share the gospel particularly to those on campus. The fear of man is something that I've always struggled with which made it hard when it came to sharing the gospel with people that I didn't know yet God used College Life to show me that I had been placed on this campus not only to be a student, but to also represent Christ. God showed me that I was essentially being disobedient by not wanting to go out and share the truth that God had so graciously entrusted me with. Going out to campus evangelism has been a blessing as God has shown me that it is Christ who saves, not anything I do or say and that He is in control of it all. I look forward to the work that God will continue to do in my life as He makes me more like Christ and am continually thankful for His grace upon a sinner like me.
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